


Hisoka's Debut Role

by hungrybookworm



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Community: 31_days, Crack, Drabble, Gen, no actual porn sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-12
Updated: 2008-08-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hungrybookworm/pseuds/hungrybookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua learns the hard way not to let Gon watch anything with Hisoka in it, especially if it's on the Porn Channel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hisoka's Debut Role

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 31_days 12/08 - 'Naughty naughty'. Hunter x Hunter is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.
> 
> This is Mangaverse!Killua, so he's not quite as porn-happy as his anime equivalent ;) No actual porn either, sorry!

“Naughty, naughty,” said the man on the telly, as he slowly undid his belt. “I’m going to have to punish you for this.”

“Oh no!” cried Gon in horror, but Killua had already dived for the remote. With one jab of his finger, the Porno Channel quickly turned into the Wildlife Channel.

“Killua!” Gon exclaimed. “I was watching that! I wanted to see what happened next.”

“You don’t want to know what happens next!” snapped Killua in reply.

“But I do! And we haven’t even seen Hisoka yet,” said Gon. He was pulling such a sad face that Killua very nearly switched it back.

“Gon, we’re not watching a porn movie with Hisoka in it!” Killua was going to kill that man. Earlier Hisoka had sent Gon a text message. Apparently, that sadistic magician had a role in a famous television programme. He happily sent the channel number, the broadcast time and a credit card number (‘for simple access’) in a following text. “It’ll be mentally traumatising for both of us!”

Gon stared at him in shock. “That was a porn movie?”

Killua sighed, “Yes, it was. And we’re not watching it.”

“But… but… I thought porn movies had women in it. There weren’t any women in that show.”

“…It was a specialist porn movie,” said Killua at last, going bright red. “Not all… no… um… let’s watch this documentary on lions instead!”

“Killua!”

Unfortunately, Gon wasn’t the only person who’d received a text message from Hisoka that night. A few hundred miles away, Leorio and Kurapika got a nasty surprise.

“I’m going to kill that man,” muttered Kurapika, shaking as he sat on the sofa.

Leorio couldn’t speak. His eyes were glued to the screen in terror. He finally understood what the phrase ‘watching a train wreck’ meant.

Of course, Hisoka didn’t turn up until the last five minutes. And even then he was onscreen for about three seconds.

“What the hell was that?” said Leorio, as the credits finally rolled. “God, no amount of prescription drugs are ever going to wipe those images from my brain. Kurapika, why the hell did you make me watch that with you?!”

“I didn’t want to watch it on my own,” said Kurapika simply.

“We didn’t need to watch it at all!”

Kurapika paused. “That’s a very good point.” And left it at that.


End file.
